THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE (1973)

Originally published in 2009.

Pixieish Christina Lindberg as Frigga, perhaps the ultimate put-upon exploitation movie heroine.

When Sweden's 1973 THRILLER - EN GRYM FILM found its way to these shores in 1974, it was known by several different titles, including HOOKER'S REVENGE and THEY CALL HER ONE EYE, and was exhibited with some twenty-five minutes of footage excised. It's been out on DVD in the United States for the past few years in two restored versions — the "vengeance" edition, and the more explicit limited edition — and having spent much time pondering its merits since seeing it when unleashed in its fully uncut form, I have to say that it's almost the letter-perfect example of a seventies-era exploitation flick. You'll note that I say "almost," so allow me to elucidate.

Poster from the shorn-of-twenty-five-minutes U.S. release.

THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE falls squarely into the tried and true exploitation category of the revenge film, and its all-too-human and horrifying scenarios are absolutely not recommended for the squeamish or the easily-offended. The protagonist is Frigga, a young woman whose sexual assault at age eight rendered her mute, played with agonized melancholy by the innocent-looking yet totally hot Christina Lindberg, one of the few actresses who's so cute that I willingly sit through any Euro-trash softcore movie that she's in, most notably 1973's ANITA . 

One day during her teen years, Frigga makes the grave error of accepting a lift from Tony (Heinz Hopf), who promptly kidnaps her, addicts her to heroin, and forces her into prostitution.

Frigga contemplates her one joy in life.

The poor mute girl endures untold numbers of sleazy customers of both genders — let's call it what it is: this is rape after rape after rape — but when she works up some gumption and refuses a client, her pimp graphically stabs her in the eye, from which point the tortured lass sports an eye patch. Frigga's is a hellish existence of getting shot up with horse and being used by vile creeps — in one shocking instance, we witness hardcore scenes of penetration as a body-double takes a plowing from an overweight, hairy John — and when she discovers that her pimp has sent her parents a vicious letter that they believe is from her, she is finally pushed over the edge upon finding that the letter broke her parents' hearts so badly that they committed suicide. Frigga then gets her shit together enough to take karate, offensive/defensive driving, and firearms lessons on her off-days (yes, she actually is left to her own devices on her days off, her captors knowing full well that she'll be back for more heroin), and once she has that skill set in place she goes after her tormentors like a pint-sized Fury straight out of the darkest tales of Greek mythology.

Now I don't know what you may think, but that sounds like it could have been the greatest exploitation movie ever made, loaded as it is with sex and violence from start to finish and a heroine any decent human being could not help but root for and want to see unleash righteous vengeance, but THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE has a couple of things going against it that hamper its potential classic ranking. First of all it's a Swedish film, and Swedish cinema is not known for lively pacing or even characters you can really find yourself emotionally connecting with. Like the country they hail from, Swedish films can be very cold and stark, and even their legendary pornography shares those traits, something that was largely overlooked back in the days when American porn wasn't yet allowed to be as "I am your gynecologist" explicit as its foreign contemporaries. Everyone in this film speaks in a lugubrious monotone and after a while I felt like I was dreaming all of it, or else I was under the influence of some particularly choice Mexican cough syrup, and that zombification of the proceedings is not in any way helped by the questionable choice of having Frigga's revenge scenes be rendered in snail-paced slow motion. Nothing kills a movie's action like slow motion, and here it buries the film and plants a fucking tombstone atop the fresh grave.

The lovely Christina Lindberg. I know it's all pretend, but she's the last person I'd want to see any of this stuff happen to.

But even with those obvious defects, one cannot deny the power of star Christina Lindberg's performance. Frigga's a character that life has chosen to shit upon since her childhood and her revolving door of graphic abuse is very hard to watch, endurable only because the tenets of the genre dictate that she will rally herself and savagely execute those who so severely wronged her by the time the final reel unspools. Secure in that knowledge, the viewer is nonetheless dragged along through her journey into a horribly personal hell, utterly unable to help her, offer her comfort, or rescue her thanks to being a filmgoing observer. Lindberg's childlike face is expressive to a painful degree, and her deep, sad eyes convey Frigga's misery far more effectively than any words could have hoped to. Everything she suffers only puts us that much more firmly on her side, and there is nothing even remotely titillating about her many nude scenes, although Lindberg's look captures a curious blend of childlike innocence and very much adult sexuality. I swear I wanted to reach into the film and throw a king-sized blanket over her to protect Frigga's dignity, and I would be shocked if you didn't find yourself sharing that sentiment. Not since Camille Keaton in the even more harsh I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) have I been so moved by a desire to stop the narrative and take the heroine away to a nice, comfy cottage somewhere, draw her a nice, hot bath, and hand her something very strong to drink.

So for me THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE is something of an odd duck. It's a theoretically perfect example of its breed, but I have a difficult time recommending it to anyone other than genre completists because of its flaws and the fact that it's simply one of the bleakest films I've ever seen. It's certainly not a date movie, and there's barely a sense of triumph when Frigga destroys her exploiters at the film's end. Frigga is a ruined and debased human being when all is said and done, still an addict and now, unfortunately, a murderess as well. This film comes from a place of utter blackness and misery and should probably be avoided by all but the hardiest of grindhouse-dwellers.

Poster from the original Swedish theatrical release.

 

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2025 - Day 31: WITCHING AND BITCHING (LAS BRUJAS DE ZUGARRAMURDI, 2013)

Witchery shenanigans with a distinctly Latin flavor.

Armed robbers disguised as street performers stage a violent daytime heist and hijack a passing taxi, with the plan being to flee to France, with the 10-year-old son of one of the robbers along for the ride (the kid was an active and willing participant in the robbery), as well as the innocent passenger of the cab. 

                                   A piss poor example of "Take Your Kid to Work Day."

 During the ride, the men grouse about how fed up they are with women in general, and the mastermind of the heist notes that he planned the robbery so he could have enough money to properly provide for his son. After a devastating high-speed chase with the police, the group make their way to the remote town of Zugarramurdi, which their driver at first refuses to enter because he is aware of its long history with the most diabolical of witchcraft, but a series of not-so-coincidental encounters and accidents lead them right to the mansion that houses the local coven, a merry group of cannibals that prophesied their arrival, heralding the robber's son as their "chosen one." Two detectives are also in hot pursuit, as well as the head robber's pissed-off ex-wife, who trails them. because she believes her son has been kidnapped. All parties converge at the mansion, where much mayhem and dark shit transpires, including torture, two romances blossom, elder forces are summoned, and it all culminates with the coven's Lovecraftian ritual that will bring about the end of the worldwide patriarchy.

                                                             In the mansion of madness.  

It was my intention to close this year's 31 DAYS OF HORROR with a solid witchcraft movie, so when the goofily-titled WITCHING AND BITCHING was recommend earlier this week, I opted to give it a chance. I love witchery stories and I had never heard of this one, so I went in blind and what I got was not at all what I expected. 

                             Comely witch Eva (Carolina Bang) eagerly anoints her broomstick.

It turned out to be a subtitled horror comedy from Spain that's actually very funny, striking the perfect blend between the humorous and the genuinely horrific. The laughs are earned while not shying away from adult visceral content and shocking imagery in the least. The entire cast give it their all, and I was delighted to see my girl Macarena Gomez, perhaps best known as the eerie mermaid in DAGON (2001), as the boy's angry mother. She has a creepy-eyed beauty that gives the legendary Barbara Steele a run for her money.

                           Macarena Gomez demonstrates the perils of roadside restrooms.

There's a lot that I could say about this film, but it would be criminal to spoil more than I already have, so I urge you to see it for yourself. Just remember to turn on the subtitles.

And with that, this year's cycle of 31 DAYS OF HORROR reviews comes to a close, and I thank you for joining me. And of this year's films, I hereby cite THIRST (Day 15) and WITCHING AND BITCHING as the unexpected hidden gems of the crop. Those are the two you absolutely should check out. Anyway, thank you for your support, and keep the flame of love for horror alive!

                                                             Poster for the Spanish release. 

Poster for the American release.

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2025 - Day 30: KOLCHAK - THE NIGHT STALKER "Chopper" (1975)

 

 

Investigative reporter Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) follows a trail of murders in which the victims are all beheaded by a headless leather-clad biker on a cherry motorcycle of a make that ceased production some twenty years earlier. Kolchak's sleuthing reveals that the killer is the sword-wielding reanimated corpse of a teenage biker hoodlum who was accidentally beheaded in a prank gone horribly wrong and whose bodily was hastily buried without its head, and apparently a body interred sans noggin will rise and exact vengeance, so Kolchak must stay one step ahead of the this modern Headless Horseman and figure out a way to and its swath of six-cylinder slaughter.

 

You can't reason with a headless man.

 

"Chopper," Episode 15 of the short-lived KOLCHAK THE NIGHT STALKER (1974-1975), features one of the show's more memorable monsters in the headless biker, though admittedly its practical execution leaves much to be desired when seen fifty year after the fact and viewed through 60-year-old eyes. KOLCHAK was the one new network TV series that I never missed during original airings (whenever possible), and to a nine-year-old monster kid, that show was like manna from heaven. Its "monster of the week" format would prove its undoing (How could they hope to keep the series running indefinitely when it's pretty much the same gimmick every week?), but I ate it up and watched most of its episodes from the relative safety of beneath the family room's coffee table. Of the show's many dark antagonists, the headless biker was always a favorite simply because of how visually disturbing it was when filtered through my 9-year-old imagination. Sure, it looks like something from a cheesy carnival spook show to me now, but back in January of 1975 it was the stuff of nightmares. I would love to see this story retold with a decent budget and actual super-visceral gore, but I'll gladly cherish "Chopper" for adding early shades of darkness to my world.

  

Vintage TV GUIDE ad from the series' run on THE CBS LATE MOVIE.

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2025 - Day 29: THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA (1971)

                                                                            Back for more.

Apparently COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE was a success, so this sequel followed a year later. Zero concrete explanation is given as to how the Count (Robert Quarry) and his hulking henchman have been resurrected after their quite decisive slayings in the previous film (it's alluded to that it may have something to do with the ominous Santa Ana winds blowing in), nor how they relocated to a labyrinthine mansion in San Francisco that's tricked-out with assorted gadgets controlling its interior doors. All the film is concerned with is getting the vampiric ball rolling as soon as possible by putting Count Yorga on the scent of the lovely Cynthia (Marietta Hartley), a teacher at an orphanage. After placing a young boy under his thrall, the Count sets about killing those around Cynthia, including unleashing his pack of six vampire brides on her family in what is arguably the film's scariest scene. 

 A diabolical home invasion.  

The brides spare Cynthia and bring her to the Count's mansion, where he hypnotizes her into forgetting the massacre of her family and also convinces her that it is in the interest of her health to stay as his guest for a few days. But Cynthia's fiancee, Dr. David Baldwin (Roger Perry), twigs to the fact that vampire is loose and on the rampage, so he launches a hopeless campaign to rescue Cynthia and do away with the Count once and for all. Aided by some unbelieving detectives (including a young Craig T. Nelson in his screen debut), Baldwin invades the Count's compound and must face the Count's henchman, the ever-increasing compliment of vampire brides (seven at last tally), and finally the Count himself, who is hell-bent on having Cynthia as his eternal lover.

                                    What you get when you invade a master vampire's lair.

I'll give THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA this much: It moves briskly and it isn't boring, and, like its predecessor, it's a fun entry-level vampire film for beginners. That said, there are numerous plot holes that one cannot help but ponder as the film proceeds, and it's clear that the filmmakers could not have cared less. This time they upped the vampire action and basic shocks at the expense of a tight script. It's not bad, per se, but it comes off as a mostly lazy retread of the first film, with a handful of memorable bits. In fact, if they took the best bits from the first film and this installment, they could have had an all-time classic, but what remains is, while worth seeing, somewhat tepid.

 

Poster from the theatrical release.

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2025 - Day 28: COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE (1970)

 As if Los Angeles in 1970 didn't already have enough problems. 

Count Yorga (Robert Quarry), a Bulgarian vampire, lands in 1970 Los Angeles and begins preying upon the populace. Acting as a mystic and hypnotist, Yorga conducts a seance for Donna (Donna Anders), a woman who wishes to communicate with her recently-deceased mother, and it is noted that Yorga dated Donna's mother weeks before she suddenly died, and he insisted that she be buried rather than cremated. When contact is made with a disembodied presence, Donna goes into hysterics, so Yorga sets about calming her via hypnosis while actually placing her under his mental subjugation. In the days following the seance party, Donna is visited at night by the Count, who feeds on her and initiates her transformation into the latest member of his undead harem (some of whom engage in sapphic shenanigans while Yorga watches). 

 

The Count watches as his girls put on a "show." 

When the other members of the party note Donna's debilitated state, they call in Dr. Jim Hayes (Roger Perry) to examine her, and he immediately realizes that she is being vampirized. Meanwhile, Yorga begins systematically killing the male attendees of the party and enslaving the women, so Dr. Hayes and Donna's boyfriend Mike (Michael Macready) launch a half-assed invasion of Count Yorga's mansion in an attempt to save Donna. There they confront the Count directly and face off against the vampire brides, one of whom is Donna's resurrected mother. It does not go well for our heroes...

                                                                       The undead harem.

COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE is a humble effort, but it's a lot of fun and would serve as a perfect entry-level vampire movie for budding horror kids. Not as sexy or brutally gory as a Hammer effort (though reportedly originally intended as a softcore porno film, which I can totally see), its collision of 20th Century America and a supernatural menace from the old country can be seen as a dry run for what came two years after and was refined to a fine edge with the made-for-TV film THE NIGHT STALKER, the success of which spawned the tragically short-lived series KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER. Many a monster kid of my vintage cut their teeth on that show (I never missed an episode), and the tale of Count Yorga would have fit on that series like a hand in a glove. 

Not quite a classic but definitely a worthy entry, COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE satisfies, and it earned a sequel a year later, but we'll get to that one...

 

Poster for the theatrical release.

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2025 - Day 27: VIY (1967)

                                                           Bottom line: Don't piss off a witch.

In old Russia, a young monk (Leonid Kuravlyov). from the seminary near Kiev has a bizarre encounter with an ancient crone who reveals herself as a witch. After rejecting her aggressive sexual advances and being forced to fly over the countryside with her on his back, the monk compels her to land by invoking the name of Christ and beats the witch to within an inch of her life, at which point she transforms into a beautiful young woman (Natalya Varley). 

                                                              Flying the witchy skies.

Freaked out, the monk escapes and returns to the seminary, where he's immediately summoned by the master of the village he just escaped from. Against his will he is tasked with performing a three-day ceremony of last rites for the master's beautiful daughter, for which he is promised a healthy reward of a thousand pieces of gold, but when he arrives to perform the service, the daughter has died and he realizes that she was the which that he brutalized, apparently to her death. As he reluctantly performs the rites, the girl's corpse sits up and flies through the air, basically surfing around the room in her coffin, clearly bewitched or possessed. 

                                                                     The haunting begins.

The experience causes the monk's hair to turn white, and he attempts to bail on the final day of the ritual, but the village master threatens him with a brutal public lashing if he refuses. After a failed attempt at escape, the monk is forced to return and fulfill his obligation. It does not end well for him, as the witch curses him with torment by spirits and demons from Hell.

                                                                The monk's final moments.

I'd heard of VIY ("Spirit of Evil") for years and was curious to see it, because I had yet to experience a Russian horror story, so I leapt at the opportunity when I found it online. Adapted from the 1835 novella by Nikolai Gogol, I don't know if it's the film's Soviet-era vintage or if it's a case of cultural disconnect, but I found the film not scary in the least, and even at a short 76 minutes I had a hard time staying awake through it. The supernatural bits are few and far between, with the majority of the running time being devoted to the slow-paced world of the dead witch's peasant village, punctuated by lots of drunken folk singing by the elder village men. The film moves like a drugged tortoise and the spookiest imagery happens during the last ten minutes, by which point it's too little too late, and much of those visuals are about on par with those of a generic carnival spook house. 

The final haunting.

This one's a disappointing curiosity that I wish I had skipped, but at least I can now cross it off of my list.

                                                  Poster for the Russian theatrical release. 

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2025 - Day 26: DANGEROUS ANIMALS (2025)

Welcome to Captain Tucker's shark experience! Welcome....and goodbye.

Off the Gold Coast in Australia, weirdo sea captain Tucker (Jai Courtney) operates a shark cage diving experience for tourists, taking them into the middle of nowhere in the ocean and chumming the water to attract any of the area's numerous varieties of man-eating sharks. Tucker also happens to be an unhinged serial killer who has murdered dozens of innocent tourist who come for the shark diving thrill, trussing them up and dangling them over the side of his boat like they were bait (which, let's face it, they are), chronicling  their terrified, agonized screams on videotape as the carnivorous fish eat them alive. American surfer Zephyr (Hassie Harrison) has come to Australia to escape her hard previous existence, hooking up with nice guy real estate agent Moses (Josh Heuston) and forming a connection, but her deep mistrust of people after years in foster homes and juvie lead her to leave in the wee hours after their tryst, and she goes to a remote beach to surf alone in the night. There she falls prey to Tucker, and from that point onward she must use  every bit of her hard-earned toughness and survival skills to try and make it out alive. Good luck with that, as Tucker has his twisted serial killer methodology down pat, and his sadistic operations are conducted on the high seas, where no one is watching...

Forced to witness a fellow prisoner's agonized consumption by sharks.

Making a decent shark movie in the wake of the genre-defining JAWS (1975), even fifty years later, is a daunting task, and only a few films in the sub-genre have managed to pull it off. DANGEROUS ANIMALS is one of the better of this breed, featuring solid performances, a tense vibe, a tough as nails protagonist in Zephyr, and a vile killer in the hulking Tucker. He equates himself with sharks, takes locks of hair from his victims and makes deep-sea fishing lure with them, souvenirs that he preserves in the cases of the library of his videotaped murders, and he nonchalantly eats meals while watching the video evidence, which he considers "the greatest show on earth." He's a vile piece of work who one can't wait to see get his just desserts.

                                                       Arts and crafts with Captain Tucker.

DANGEROUS ANIMALS is not a classic, but it is very entertaining, and you really feel for Tucker's innocent victims. I I were to describe this film to knowledgeable horror fans in one sentence, I would simply say "PEEPING TOM meets JAWS." If you get that gene-spliced reference, you get what DANGEROUS ANIMALS is, so proceed from there. It's a fun way to spend 98 minutes, though I. could have done with more graphic depictions of sharks eating people. What we get is pretty good, but when it comes to man-versus-man-eaters stories, I prefer things as visceral and nasty as possible. DANGEROUS ANIMALS earns its R-rating mostly for profanity, though there's a good deal of nastiness that killed any possibility of a PG-13, which is fine by me. Give me R-rated horror and beyond, not watered-down pablum that brings in the lucrative younger audience. I want my horror with teeth, goddammit, and a proper shark film must possess said dental appendages. That said, DANGEROUS ANIMALS joins my short list of quality shark flicks, a roster that includes JAWS, DEEP BLUE SEA, and the superlative THE SHALLOWS.

Poster for the theatrical release.